Grown Man Shxt: King of Your Castle

“Cleaning and Organizing are a Practice, not a project”

Neon Deion Sanders aka Prime Time coopted a phrase: “When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good you play good.” What man doesn’t what to give his best in all his endeavors? A Loser that’s who. But if you’re here you’re probably not a loser, Grown Man Shxt is about winning in every facet of life. Now then, most of us guys don’t consider ourselves overly meticulous but we all know looking good never hurts. I’m going to start a series of entries discussing some of the things all men should know about looking good. Looking good physically, looking good in your interactions, and having a good name out here.

You may think this Entry is about Fashion. It’s not. Well, it is, but not in the classic way your may think. This entry has nothing to do with clothes but has everything to do with style. It has nothing to do with accessories you wear but the ones you see every day. It’s not related to the energy you bring to a venue, but the energy it brings to you. So what am I talking about? I’m talking about the place you probably spend more time than anywhere else: Your Home.

How you should feel every time you come home

Your Place, Your Rules

Unless you have a roommate or stay in someone else’s place, your home/studio/apartment is entirely your own. What it looks like, how it feels, the purposes it serves are entirely controlled by you. You have the ability to make the space (almost) everything you want it to be. It could be victorian, modern, weeb, feudal, steampunk, minimalist, light, dark, unaltered. Whatever your wallet and the HOA/leasing office allows are within your options. I am a firm believer that in a situation where you are given control that situation is a direct reflection on choices you’ve actively made or chose not to make. If your place is an OCD dream of perfectly parallel furniture lines and minimalism without a speck of dust or a single item out of place or you have a chaotic, messy “I know where everything is” mental system of a motif, it is entirely your choice.

First things first. If you have a messy place, that’s one thing, if you have a nasty place that is another thing entirely. If you’re not sure which one your place is, it's probably the latter. Ways to tell if your place ain’t clean like that:

You Don’t Dust - If I walk in your house and ask where the Swiffer is and you either don’t know FOR SURE where it is because it’s been so long since you used it, or even worse you don’t have one. If I wipe the back of your TV and my hand is dusty, you’re dusty. Fix it.
You Only Sweep Once a Week - This should be self-explanatory. Those floors be catching all the crumbs from the table and catching all the dirt from your shoes. You gotta keep them clean more often than just Saturday. Your feet deserve more than to be sticky dirt magnets tracking crumbs from the kitchen to the den.
Your bathroom mirror looks like the sneeze-guard at the COVID Buffet - Has your mirror had those smudges for more than 1 week? You gotta fix that. You look in the mirror every day and see the smudges. Don’t just see the smudges, clean the smudges.
You’ve got dishes in the sink - Well…dishes in the sink ain’t really a problem…unless they’ve been there for 48 hours are longer, then its a violation. Ain’t no reason dirty dishes can sit in the sink and watch the sunset twice in a row. Nah. Rinse em off and put them in the dishwasher at the very least.

Keeping your place clean isn’t hard it just requires being intentional and having the desire to do it in the first place. Break down chores and cleaning up into smaller tasks you do over time or while multitasking. I like to do a lot of my cleaning up when i’m talking to someone on the phone. That way it isn’t just a passive time suck where I didn’t get anything done. Chores are a good way to break up work breaks for those that work at home. Every hour or so step away from the computer and start or continue a chore. It helps me break up the monotony of the and do something productive.

So What if you’re the messy person? Well that fix is not as easily implemented. Here are some ways to tell you’re messy:

You can’t explain your System - If someone had to be you for a day could you explain how everything is organized in less than 5 minutes? There is a chance your system is too complicated or (more likely) you’re just messy.
Your system only exists in your mind - There aren’t any labels, there isn’t much consistency.You have to use valuable mental space on where items are in your house. The system only works as well your memory that day to recall where you put something. This leads to the final trait of a messy person
You lose things easily in the house - This shouldn’t be happening very much. If it is there’s a good chance you haven’t given an item a home or you aren’t being consistent with putting that item in its home when you’re done with it. When this happens a space can spiral. It can become really easy to lose or misplace things.

Messiness seems harmless at first but it has many problems. The aesthetic part is sort of irrelevant, that’s a matter of subjectivity. Messiness can make you less efficient. It can be an early indicator of depression symptoms. The time lost finding items you misplaced is probably worth a change in habits by itself. As a naturally messy person, I believe the root causes of messiness are because of a lack intention and a lack of a system. Not having a system I’ve committed to means I have to make a new one every time I come into the house. That inconsistency eventually leads to items being placed all over the place. The system you use can be entirely made up and has only 3 rules, or it can be one you found online that is super rigid with lots of complicated rules. The important thing is that you commit to the rules. When you come in the house or before you go to bed, make sure you’re honoring the rules you put in place in the house.

Blank Canvas

So you’re clean and you’re not messy, now what? Pick a theme. That theme could be different for each room, it could flow through the entire house, you have a theme that is only for the public areas, you could have a theme that is the same everywhere except the master bedroom. I personally have a theme that flows through my entire place. I’ve found it more relaxed and tranquil to have it that way. Which is one of the most important parts of your theme: That it is relaxing. Your theme should be a reflection of you in some way as well. Little mementos or something about the color scheme should feel like you. To me, a theme has a couple of primary parts:

Color Scheme - You should have a general idea of your primary, secondary, and accent colors. These can form the base of the theme as colors can be used to unify everything in a space.
Furniture Selection - You don’t need to have the exact couch for the space already bought, but if you know what type of couch it will be then you’ve got a theme. The furniture selection should all basically be selected to tie in with your theme and if there is accent furniture, it’s thought of with the other furniture in mind.
Accessories - These items are not quite the same as accents but they can be used as them. Paperweights, wall quotes, bookends, art, and conversation pieces are all examples of accessories. They make the house look lived in and can give someone some insight in you are as they are good places to be self-expressive
Scent - Yes guys I mean that literally. You home should have a specific scent the same way you have a specific scent. It can be a cologne, bar soap, or needs soap but you have one. Your home is no different. It has a scent whether you want it to or not, so make sure it has a scent before your house picks its own.

Below are a couple of grown man themes you may be able to take something from

Obviously, these rules are just general guidelines. Making your place somewhere you want to come to consistently is going to take some work. I'll be expounding on the parts of the theme and how you can select items that work for you in future entries. Just know that right now you can take back your space and create something that is an asset and not a liability. Your home should be an oasis. It should be a safe place you feel comfortable to be yourself and shed the stress of the day. Your place should feel like a place you can enjoy. Your home shouldn’t feel like a burden, stress, or uncomfortable place to be. It all starts with having a clean place. Clean space, clean mind. Next, implement a simple process of organization that isn’t hard to remember or explain. Next just pick a theme and add those extra little accessories to pull it all together. Making your place work for you is literally whatever you want it to be so there are no wrong answers. At the same time, it should be something you’re proud of that expresses you in the way you want to be perceived. I hope this walkthrough gave you a couple of ideas. Tag me on social media (fb/ig/t : @TheImmortalMindset), if you think I left something out or if you have your own tips and tricks to turn your place into your castle.