Cool, Calm, and Collected
“We don’t Rise to the level of our capability, We Sink to the level of our Training.”
I believe that the people who win most often are the ones that can consistently stay level-headed when they get stressed. For some people, it is a requirement as part of their job. First responders, those in combat details, and pretty much anyone part of a physical trauma response team have to be able to manage stress consistently or they won’t be able to do their job effectively. Stress is a part of life. There isn’t really a way to keep from dealing with stressful situations. They happen whether you want them to or not. The reason that those that can remain level-headed in those situations win is because those are the situations when most of us stop making the best decision and make the decision that feels natural. When everyone is flying off the handle or freezing up the calm person who can analyze the decision properly is the one that is going to make the best decision.
Gotta Stay Cool.
Life is Stressful
This isn’t just a situation where you need to maintain a level head just for your job. Jobs are important but they are only as relevant as you want them to be in your life. This is something that you need in life. That ability to keep a level head is something that is needed because inevitably your life is going to have stressful points. Those points could even turn into seasons. Dealing with that stress is what makes us grow. It’s that uncomfortable place where we learn more about ourselves and hopefully grow from it.
Growth happens when you’re uncomfortable
We all manage stress differently. Many of us have unhealthy stress management tendencies. Substances are a common cheap way that people handle issues. Some people use the gym. Some people use food. Those are situations where people are typically managing built-up stress rather than stress at the moment. Managing that kind of stress is a bit different than what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the acute stress that happens as a result of a specific stimulus at the moment. It could be something like an immediate physical alteration, a conflict with a coworker, a sudden change in an environment, or even a trigger that causes anxiety. Those are the moments when it can be the hardest to stay level-headed. I believe it’s because those moments are when we naturally move to our instincts and default reactions. I think most people can get emotional in those moments. My natural reaction is to tighten a bit and process what is happening, which can be good in some instances, but also bad in others instances. A natural reaction is only a bad thing if escalates a situation or makes it worse. If your natural reaction is to punch someone when they don’t give you good service then it’s probably not a good thing. At the same time if your natural tendency is to just freeze and let someone do it then it’s probably not a good thing either.
Overcoming your natural instincts or reactions is not always the easiest process, but it very clearly can be done. U.S. Military special operations forces train extensively. On top of the daily training they have as members of elite military units, they also have what are called “workups”. Workups happen before they go on a military deployment to a different country. These workups are designed to put them through scenarios they may encounter in the field and often are very dangerous. Before the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the SEAL teams actually lost more men in training accidents than they lost in combat. The purpose of these training workups is not to punish those operations members, it’s to put them in these scenarios to the point that the correct actions to take become the default when they are in those high-stress situations. One of the things that helps breed good habits is practicing the intended behavior repeatedly. The problem is you’re probably going the have to use real-life situations to “practice”. I think the easiest thing in those cases is to use the least stressful situations in day-to-day life as a way to practice ways to decrease stress and remain level-headed.
Here are some ways to decrease acute stress in the moment according to the Physician lead MANA clinic:
Pause - Close your eyes and take five deep breaths, count to ten, or think through three different possible responses to a stressful situation before speaking or reacting.
Excuse Yourself - Sometimes just removing yourself from a stressful situation and giving yourself the space to think clearly can help defuse a stressful moment.
Be Aware - Recognize that you are under stress. Identifying that you’re stressed can help you adjust your response to stress.
Be Calm - Try to act and respond in a calm, collected manner even if you are upset. Staying calm will be more natural and feel like less of an act over time.
Be Positive - A positive mindset is a powerful thing. Instead of focusing on the problem and thinking negative thoughts, put a positive spin on things. Is there a silver lining to the situation? A positive attitude can help pull you out of a stressful moment.
Choose Joy - Think of things that make you happy: a funny memory, your favorite vacation, the most beautiful place you’ve ever been.
Recite - Memorize a phrase that brings you peace and comfort. It can be your favorite Bible verse, words of wisdom from a philosopher, or an ancient proverb.
I don’t believe all of these are going to be available in every situation and they are often easier said than done. They don’t all work the same for everyone but if you don’t try you won’t get better. So much of life is about making the right decision in the moment and that almost always starts with being able to think clearly.
So breathe, take a look at how you’re reacting in the moment vs. the results, and add the tools you need to be successful.